The Other Side
by Two Star-Cross'd Lovers
Summary: Edward's POV of when he leaves Bella in the forest. What's he really thinking? And what happens to him when he's gone? What do the others do to make him feel better? Now a full story! R&R! New Moon spoilers.
1. Bella, we're leaving

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or the characters. The conversation between Bella and Edward is straight from New Moon. I do not own it.**

**Author's Note: So, while I was doing dishes and thinking about New Moon videos on YouTube I had watched, I decided that I was somewhat stuck with my other story, An Eternity. I decided that I'm going to do a oneshot in Edward's POV from when he left Bella in New Moon. **

**I'm thinking about doing this as a one shot, as I said, but if I get good enough reviews and enough people want it to be fully New Moon in Edward's POV, then I'll change it.. So, let me know when this is up!!**

**I hope it's good and I hope you all like it! )**

**By the way, the title of this, The Other Side, I have to give credit to Brittney. Even though she is totally lost on what Twilight and New Moon are, she still helped. Thank yah.**

**Thank youu! Review, please.**

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**The Other Side**

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. Infact, I had been consumed with the thoughts of what I was about to do since 'it' happened. The night I had almost lost my Bella to a 'freak accident'. That's all it was.

If that was true, then why couldn't I get passed it? Why couldn't I get over the fact that accidents happen?

Because I had almost lost Bella.

I had to remind myself that, even as I was driving to her house after school, after dropping off Renee's package. When I had pulled into the driveway, I made sure to park in Charlie's spot, having no intention of staying very long. Inside, I had written a note to Charlie, able to easily mimmick Bella's handwriting. It read; _Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Back soon, B. _I knew it was a wrong thing to do, in a way, but I had to give them a way to find her. She wouldn't let go easily. She would follow me, though it was a uselss antic. She would still try. Leaning back in the driver's seat, I knew she would be here soon. And soon enough, it would all be over. We would go our seperate ways. I would, of course, need to find a distraction, but her heart would heal. She would move on and live a normal, regular human life. The life she deserved.

Regardless, I would have a hard time forgetting. I wouldn't forget, ever. That much was certain. Bella was the only one I would ever love, though she couldn't know that. That would give her reasons to hold on. I needed a clean break.

The minute her truck pulled up, I climbed out of my car and turned to face her. When I pushed her bookbag back into the truck, her expression changed dramatically. It went directly from confusion to alarm. She knew something was wrong. I couldn't fool her anymore. I couldn't lie to her anymore, until today.

"Come for a walk with me," I suggested, keeping my voice flat and without any emotion whatsoever. I couldn't afford Bella picking up on all of this just by the slip of emotion; the slip of anything could change our lives entirely too easily.

I didn't give her a chance to answer before I took her hand, pulling her carefully along and towards the back of the property, where the forest would be a sort of sanctuary. I didn't know why I chose to go there, but that was where it was all to unfold. That was where I could finally make it right...

It only took one glance to my love to know that she was horribly confused, yet filled with panic. Something was going to happen, though she was yet to figure out why. It was really amazing that I could tell that much, just by looking at her. As we stepped into the trees, I made sure not to go too far.

It wasn't a walk, really, but more of a way to get away from the 'world' around us.

As I leaned back against a tree, my eyes remained locked on Bella. I knew, without looking, that my expression was entirely masked by an 'icy plane' of some sort.

"Okay, let's talk," Bella finally stated, her voice braver than her expression.

I had to take in a sharp breath before I could allow myself to speak, as her expression almost led me to change my plans.

"Bella, we're leaving."

"Why now? Another year---"

I cut her off. She didn't understand what I meant.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

She looked so confused. I only wanted to take her in my arms right then and there, whispering that it would be okay. But I couldn't. I had to protect her, even at my own expense.

My stare was cold, but behind it I was dying, metaphorically speaking. Seeing my love like this, watching as I tore her apart, I could only feel my dead heart wreching. It was something I was glad to have almost done. Something I wanted to be over. Something I would never forgive myself for.

"When you say _we---"_

If I let her finish that sentence, she would have the wrong impression and never, ever, would I be able to let her go.

"I mean my family and myself," Each word I spoke was emphasized, trying to bring out its meaning in a full context.

Bella began shaking her head, a gesture I took as her trying to convince me that this wasn't happening, or tell herself that same thing. Either way, she wasn't believing me. She wouldn't take this.

"Okay, I'll come with you."

No! I wouldn't let that happen.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going. . . It's not the right place for you," I lied.

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella." Why couldn't I make her believe? I thought she always trusted my judgement. I knew that was wrong with her words.

"Don't be ridiculous," She was begging now, and my heart was breaking even more,"You're the very best part of my life."

If I could have shouted right then and there, I would have. In my mind, I reminded myself to stay calm. To calm that part of me which wanted to lash out at her for not accepting it and getting this over with, I glanced around at our surroundings. It was getting dark. I had to make this quicker.

"My world is not for you."

"What happened with Jasper---- That was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right," I agreed quietly,"It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay------"

Again, I cut her off,"As long as that was best for you," I corrected solemnly.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?!" She was shouting now and I never want to see her that angry, that hurt, that upset.. Again. It was something that would always haunt me when I found time to think alone. When I was alone, it would be there. She didn't stop, though,"Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward! I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you ----- it's yours already!"

Things were taking a turn for the worse. She wasn't letting go. I was about to break, when I realized I would have to lie better. I would have to say more things, more things to convince her.

Looking at the ground then, I realized what I wanted, no needed, to say. What I needed to say would kill me, but I had to save her. I had to keep my Bella safe.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." The words burned the back of my throat, threatening to rip through me at any given moment. I never wanted to say those hollow, foul words again.

It took her a moment to regain her composure from that blow. I had hit the mark I didn't want to go near, but it was for the best. I had to keep reminding myself of that, no matter how much it would hurt me. No matter what...

"You. . . don't. . . want me?" She was trying the words out and they were painstakingly slow.

"No."

Bella stared at me for the longest time, unblinking. I wished for nothing more than to be able to read her mind. To be able to see how deep I had truly cut her. She would find someone, though, who would take away that pain. Someone who would replace me and allow her heart to mend. Someone to love her. Mentally, I wished her the best of luck in her life.

"Well that changes things," She seemed calm. This was more confusing to decipher, so I didn't try. Yet.

I looked away, unable to meet her burning gaze,"Of course, I'll always love you," That was the wrong thing to say. I was showing too much emotion. Too much love. Too much anything,"In a way," I added to it,"But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm . . . **tired** of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." My stare continued to glaze over, an odd feeling for me.

"Don't," Her voice broke and was hardly a whisper,"Don't do this." Again, she pleaded with me.

I had already made my decision. It was already done and I couldn't change it. I just couldn't.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

"If. . . that's what you want," That was the exact opposite of what I wanted, but I complied.

Nodding my head, I glanced around as if to hurry time up. It was at that moment that I realized I had more to say. This was Bella I was talking to, the one who would do anything without considering the consequences for herself. The one who always put others first.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much."

"Anything," She promised with a slightly stronger tone.

My eyes softened, looking down at her. She was broken beyond repair right now, and it was all on a count of me. I would live with that on my conscious every day of my existance. Everyday for eternity.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I was beginning to feel more attached to her now,"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella nodded once.

The distance in my features returned the moment I saw I had broken through,"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself--- for him."

Bella nodded again,"I will."

I felt everything in my body relax. My angel would be safe to live a happy life. Safe to be content and, hopefully, one day in love. She would live.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I wasn't going to like this but it was best,"I promise that tihs will be the last time you'll see me.I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed." I realized I had to take care of a few things back at Bella's house then. I would have to get rid of the pictures, the CD, the tickets. I had the perfect place. Beneath her floorboards. She would never look there.

My angel.. My angel began trembling. Her entire face had paled, if that was possible with her state, and she just stared at me. It was like I had drained the life right out of her.

I gave a small smile to reassure her,"Don't worry. You're human--- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" She countered. I hadn't expected that.

"Well--," I hesitated to find something to say,"I won't forget," That much was true,"But **my** kind. . . we're very easily distracted," I offered a smile that did not do much good for either of us.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again," I continued slowly. Recognition finally dawned on Bella's features and I couldn't believe she didn't think of it sooner. I had thought nothing, however, of my plural use. Bella, though, did.

"Alice isn't coming back."

Shaking my head, I looked at her face without appology in my eyes. That was the worst kind of blastphemy.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." Had I not said goodbye, I would have damned myself even more.

"Alice is gone?"

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break woudl be better for you." A clean break for her. I said nothing about a clean break for myself.

She seemed dizzy, though she was working in 'overdrive' to stay concentrated on the things at hand.

"Goodbye, Bella," I whispered in a peaceful tone, wishing for her to remember me like that and not the monster I truly was.

"Wait!" Bella was choking on her words while she reached out for me.

This was what I feared. Taking her wrists in my hands, I pinned them down to her sides somewhat forcefully, but gentle all the same. Kissing her forehead for the last time, I pulled away soon after. Her eyes were closed, if only briefly.

"Take care of yourself," I mummured quietly.

Before she could open her eyes, I was gone. Running at top speed, I turned around once a good distance from her. I knew I wouldn't see my love, but looking in her direction was still enough to give a small satisfying feeling to myself. It wasn't enough to allow forgiveness to rush into my heart. I would never get that feeling. Never.

After a quick stop to Bella's, I made sure the note was where Charlie would find it and took care of the things which would remind her. Life without Bella would be difficult. There was no life without Bella, but there were distractions. That wouldn't satisfy me, though. I would roam the Earth for eternity, wanting nothing more than the sanctuary of Bella's presence. These were the things which plagued my mind as I got into my Volvo and sped down the street and away from all that I had ever loved.

Everything was going to move on and now I would leave. I would never come back. Never see her blushing, smiling face again. I would never hear from Isabella Marie Swan again.


	2. Time Passes

**Disclaimer: I do not own many of the parts in this entire story. However, those that aren't in Twilight, I do own. I do not own the characters, unless I make them up, which I doubt I will. I don't own the quote from New Moon 'Time Passes' either. **

**Author's Note: I know I said that this was going to be a oneshot, but some people have told me that it should be continued, and I l.o.v.e writing, so I'll continue it. I hope you all like it!! D**

**Thank you.**

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**Chapter Two**

_In the brightest hour  
Of my darkest day  
I realize what is wrong with me.  
Can't get over you  
Can't get through to you._

Leaving Bella was the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Thoughts of others and my own swam in my head as I sat on the plane. Alice was in the seat across the aisle, with Jasper. She was very pissed off, I knew, but this was for the best. Why couldn't she see that? Maybe she had a vision.

I forced the thoughts from my mind as the plane landed and we all got off, carrying our belongings, or what we had brought of them. This place was much like Forks, a small town with very few people and very little sunlight. It would be perfect for my family, seeing as I wasn't staying with them. We had already established that I would be able to travel and hopefully find something to 'distract' myself from Bella. That was never going to happen, though.

She had been on my mind since I left her house.

So, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't go back now, she would never welcome me. Besides, it had been four days. Maybe she had found someone else? I knew that was highly unlikely, as Bella wasn't one to let go easily. But, I could still comfort myself, to an extent, with these thoughts.

When everyone arrived at our 'new home', many of us were going to be seperating. I, for one, was going to begin trying my hand at tracking.

_Take these memories  
That are haunting me  
Of a paper man cut into shreds  
By his own pair of scissors_

I realized I was wrong when I calculated all of the events in my head. Could I have destroyed my own happiness, as well as Bella's, anymore thouroughly? I couldn't go back. I wouldn't go back, because it would cause more problems. Internally, I cringed at the thoughts plaguing my mind.

_Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me._

Days dragged on, blurring into one another and forming a perfect haze in my mind. The last time I had talked to Alice was nearly five or six days ago and I was now in northern South America, still tracking.

The previous week, I had come across Victoria's scent and followed it all the way down here and was now working on where she was going and what she was going to do. I hadn't expected her to be my distraction, but I was somewhat thankful for it. The dark house where I had been staying lately was cleared out perfectly, though a layer of dust still layed on the wooden floor. It wasn't anything special, or even neat, but it worked until I could get a hand at this. Until I could get used to what I was doing.

I was sitting in the attic, leaning back against a crate with my head in my hands. I hadn't lost Victoria, but I had misplaced her, I supposed. However, while tracking, I made sure that she didn't see me. If she did, this could cause problems on both ends of the rope and I didn't want, didn't need, any of that.

My thoughts were interrupted, even shattered, when the shrill ring of my phone caught my hearing. "Damnit," I cursed before looking down. Caller ID said it as Alice. Maybe she had a vision that something was going to happen. I couldn't ignore it.

"Hello?" My voice was a dull monotone. It had been since I left.

"Edward? What in the hell do you think you're doing?!" Alice was shouting and I didn't understand why.

"Wait.. What are you talking about? I've been sitting here thinking for the past two hours.." I sounded defensive.

"You're tracking Victoria. Alone. Do you know how dangerous that is?!" She snapped. I laughed humorlessly, even bitterly.

"Well maybe that's what I need.." Was all I said before hanging up. I wasn't normally like this, but I saw no point in living without _her. _I couldn't even think her name without feeling a horrible pain in my chest. **(A/N: Sound familiar? Hehe.)**

My life had become nothing. There was no reason to even bother everyday. There was nothing I could do to distract myself. Everything reminded me of my Angel. Everything single damn thing.


	3. I Miss You

**Disclaimer: If it's in Twilight/New Moon, it's not mine. Other ideas, mine.**

**Author's Note: I'm sorry I've been so zoned lately, everyone. It's taken me forever to update, because I was so hooked on my other story. My faithful readers, you should check out my other stories:**

**An Eternity**

**All The Little Pieces**

**Changes ****(Finished, but still good. An Eternity is the sequel.)**

**The Middle of Somewhere**** (Just finished it, but it's still good.)**

**Thank you**

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**Chapter Three**

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missin' you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missin' too._

The days were a slow drag. I lost track of time after awhile, not that it mattered or anything. Depression sank in and I lost Victoria's scent. I had followed her all the way up and into Texas before losing her, again.

Disgruntled and on the verge of giving up, I took a plane to check in with Carlisle and Esme in Canada. The plane ride was excruciatingly boring, save for the occasional thought amongst the passenger's. Some of them actually seemed entertaining, but then my mind would go to how I could never read _her_ thoughts. I wished I could sleep, for time would have passed much more quickly in that circumstance.

Instead, I was forced to fake sleeping while the plane was making its way to Canada. The slow decent of the plane began and I peered out the window. It was dark out still and a glance to the clock told me it was nearly 2AM.

Grabbing my luggage, I slowly got off the plane and got my luggage soon after. Heading out of the terminal, I began walking. The house wasn't very far out of the city and I had no other way of getting there, with the exclusion of a taxi. I wasn't about to get one of **those**, though. That would require talking to someone and I wasn't about to do that, unless that someone was my family.

The walk along the city streets was terrorizing. So many people were out at this hour that I was surprised. When the house came into view, I slowly trudged up the steps, knowing everyone would be questioning me where I had been the past weeks.

Before I could open the door, however, Alice pulled it open and hugged me tightly.

"Umph. Alice, you're going to break me," I stated sarcastically before pulling away to look at my sister.

Alice glared at me and dragged me inside, slamming the door behind us,"HE'S HERE!" She shouted. The only reason she was shouting was because she was mad, even I could tell that. I searched her mind for something about why she was being this way, but she had blocked me out.

I was already frustrated and that didn't help. She was keeping something from me. Everyone was, because they were all thinking the most random things that were keeping me away from their minds.

Alice was thinking about dancing in the rain.

Emmett was thinking about how to beat some game on XBOX.

Jasper was thinking about a slip 'n slide.

Rose was thinking about a manicure she needed.

Carlisle was thinking about a patient.

Esme was thinking about how much she had missed me.

Everything was so random and the tension in the room was immense. I didn't have to be Jasper to know that. There was a secret and I was going to find out, somehow.

"What's going on?" I decided to start out bluntly and see if they would tell me.

Carlisle and Esme looked up and sighed,"Edward," Carlisle started and then pointed to a chair,"You might want to sit down."

I nodded before seating myself.

"Lately, the entire family has been worried about you, Edward. Leaving Bella," I winced as they said her name,"I mean, leaving _her_ was your idea and you're not doing so great with it. We're wondering, do you want to go back? We have no problem leaving, again, because we all miss her as well."

"NO!" I shouted, jumping to my feet,"WE CANNOT GO BACK! IT'LL CAUSE TOO MANY PROBLEMS FOR HER! THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ANYMORE EXCEPT STAY. OUT. OF. HER. LIFE!" I was turning towards the stairs when I heard it.

Alice's weak voice,"I miss her, Edward. I know you do, too. You may not admit it, but I can see it when you talk about her. We can all see it. We want to go back, Edward. We wanted to stay in touch. I never go to say goodbye."

I whirled around to face my sister and shook my head. "We. Won't. Go. Back. I don't want her getting hurt! I'm protecting her from everything."

But, was I protecting her from myself?


	4. IMPORTANT AN!

**IMPORTANT!!!!**

**Author's Note:**

**Everyone.. I am so sorry I have not updated ANYTHING. I've been lazy, yes, and I'm stuck with things that should happen. PLEASE HELP ME OUT! IF YOU WANT THE STORIES CONTINUED.**

**Yes, I'm a bit panicky now, 'cause I don't know if you guys want me to continue. I need feedback. I need to know.. Or, I'll just delete them and stop posting. Please, let me know. **

**Things have been crazy lately. My family came over for awhile and I had NO time on the computer, since the kids are very clingy. And, I wasn't able to do much without them constantly over my shoulder.. And, my next chapter for All The Little Pieces is going to be a bit... Mature for them. They're little, so that's why I'm saying that. **

**Anyways.. I just need some help. So, if you want me to continue the stories, you have to let me know.. **

**Thank you so much.. **

**-Erin Rene**


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